What is this about?

Is this about me? What is this about? Who am I? Where am I inside this mess? How do I pare myself down to something so thin? If there's anything at all. Is that just my fear talking? Am I afraid that what I might find won't be pretty? Is it that I have to just buck up and look inside myself to find the person that I really am? Who am I? I am a person with feelings and passions and perversions and imperfections. I am a human being. Is it that I feel that some of my worst qualities make me undeserving of love? Yes, I feel that way. I have obsessions that I can't handle. I am addicted to pleasure and will take it any chance I can get. The hardest part of this addiction is that the people that surround me are distinctly divided in their opinions about my problem. In one camp they say that wanting to please yourself on your own time is natural and normal and yet the other camp understands that my problem isn't the self pleasure but the addiction to the end result. The unrelenting want for release and irrational willingness to go to any lengths to achieve it. Thus, it becomes an addiction. One I would lie to protect and to hide from people who won't and can't understand. How do I make the changes I need to make in myself when part of me still questions if my addiction should be an acceptable thing?